Gundam Wing VS Teletubbies
by tsunoiya
Summary: After the dream Heero had about Barney, the G-boys are transported from their world to the Teletubbies'. Now how do you destroy different colored fluffy-like thingies that aren't harmed by bullets? Words. - Due to foul language we suggest those with weak


Gundam Wing vs. Teletubbies By: Kitsune I own none of these characters. I'm not sure of the names of the people that do but it should be pretty obvious what shows they belong to.  
  
Quatre: Heero had a dream about what?  
  
Duo: Barney! Can you believe it? He said we fought this enormous purple dinosaur!  
  
Quatre: ...  
  
Duo: Eh? Quatre, what's wrong?  
  
*Zap* Five boys disappear from where they are in the current local hideout.  
  
*Poof* Five boys reappear out in a meadow of sorts, full of perfectly rounded rolling hills, enormous flowers, and bunny rabbits. Millions of bunny rabbits.  
  
Duo: *looks around* Where the hell are we?  
  
Quatre: Anou.. I don't know.  
  
A voice in the distance: Quatre!  
  
Duo & Quatre: *Look around*  
  
Duo: Oh, it's Trowa.  
  
Quatre: And Heero and Wufei are with him.  
  
The five boys meet atop one of the rounded hills.  
  
Wufei: Where are we?  
  
Duo: I dunno, man.  
  
A short figure moves in the distance.  
  
Heero: *Draws gun, aims, ready*  
  
The figure pops out from behind hill and goes "Eh-oh!"  
  
Three more figures join the first, ranging in height from the red one, the shortest, to the tallest, purple.  
  
Heero: Who are you?  
  
Starting with the short red one, they say their names, twice each.  
  
Red one: Po...! Po!  
  
Yellow one: Lala! Lala!  
  
Green one: Dipsy...! Dipsy!  
  
Purple one: TinkyWinky...! TinkyWinky!  
  
Duo boggles at the four things. They've got gray. rectangles. on their torsos, and... antennae.  
  
Quatre: *Looks at other four* Are you seeing what I'm seeing?  
  
Duo: I've heard of these things.  
  
Heero: What are they?  
  
Duo: gulps Teletubbies.  
  
Other four: Nani!?  
  
Duo: Courtesy of the BBC.. I knew watching TV all the time would pay off! They're like babies almost.  
  
Heero's stance drops some, and he advances cautiously towards the short red creature. It looks at him, giggles, and goes "Uh-oh!"  
  
Duo: Heero, they're not going to hurt us. They probably don't know the meaning of 'hurt'!  
  
Quatre: Let's find a way to get out of here, okay?  
  
Lala: Play!  
  
TinkyWinky: Yeaa!! New friend, play!!  
  
The Teletubbies surround Quatre, and attempt to drag him away.  
  
Quatre: Oh No, I don't want to play.  
  
The Teletubbies look upset.  
  
Dipsy: No. play...?  
  
Duo: Oh, no! Quatre, they don't know the meaning of a negative response!  
  
Wufei: Maxwell, you watch too much television.  
  
Po: *approaches Trowa* Play?  
  
Trowa: *shakes his head no*  
  
Po: No... play.?  
  
Trowa: No play.  
  
The four Teletubbies look at each other, repeating "No... play...?" As if they don't have a frigging clue what it means.  
  
TinkyWinky: No... play.?  
  
Duo: No! No play! We don't wanna play!  
  
The four Teletubbies stare at Duo, aghast.  
  
Overhead, an enormous baby squeals, startling the five pilots and causing them to jump, guns and knives pointed in every which way.  
  
A sound permeates the area, and Po starts jumping up and down, squealing. The other Teletubbies gather around her and stare at the grayish rectangle in her abdomen, and it turns into a picture, like a movie clip or something.  
  
But Heero doesn't know that's what is going to happen, so he turns and shoots Po, thinking it was some sort of beam cannon that she was going to use, judging by how her antenna was glowing.  
  
It didn't affect her. Po stayed right there, covered the new hole in her shoulder and squealed "Tickle!"  
  
Heero sweatdropped.  
  
Duo: What the...?  
  
Quatre: It's still standing.  
  
Perplexed, Heero opens fire on the evil little squirt. The shots ring through her, and only cause more giggles.  
  
The other Teletubbies look at Heero and say, "Me, too! Me, too!"  
  
Heero happily unloads a few rounds into them, but it does NO damage.  
  
Wufei: Indestructible.  
  
Quatre: Incomprehensible.  
  
Trowa: Interesting.  
  
Heero: Inconceivable.  
  
Duo: Uh. IDIOTIC!  
  
W, Q, T, and H: *Look at Duo*  
  
Duo: .what?  
  
The four Teletubbies surround the G-boys, chanting, "Tickle, tickle!"  
  
Duo: They're trying to kill us!!  
  
Heero: *delivers a swift punch to the tallest Teletubbie*  
  
TinkyWinky: *Laughs* Play!  
  
Quatre: Oh, no! They think we're playing with them.  
  
Lala: *latches onto Duo* Play, play, play!  
  
Duo: *screeches* NO! *Attempts to wriggle away* They're like Velcro!  
  
TinkyWinky: *latches onto Heero* TinkyWinky like new friend!  
  
Heero: Omae o korosu!  
  
TinkyWinky: Oooh, funny word!  
  
Po: *latches onto Trowa's legs* Talll...  
  
Trowa: *sweatdrop*  
  
Dipsy: *latches onto Wufei* Dipsy friend!  
  
Wufei: Unhand me, you lunatic!  
  
Quatre: *looks around* Haa! I'm the only one they didn't attach to!  
  
All four Teletubbies: *Simultaneously point at Quatre* TELETUBBIE!  
  
Duo: *Busts out laughing*  
  
Quatre: *Sweatdrop* Sorry, I'm not a Teletubbie.  
  
Four Teletubbies: *Let go of respective pilots, massively glomp Quatre* Teletubbie!!!!  
  
Quatre: AAHH!  
  
Trowa: Let. Him. Go. !  
  
Duo: This shit is really messed up right here.  
  
*Time stops*  
  
Duo: Uh. what did I do?  
  
Four Teletubbies: *release Quatre, look at Duo*  
  
Heero: This is a kid's show?  
  
Duo: Yeah.  
  
Heero: You just broke a rule.  
  
Duo: What, no cursing?  
  
Teletubbies: Baaad... Long hair friend. baaad... very baaad. no, no.  
  
Quatre: I really think we should get out of here.  
  
Duo: *yelling* Shit! SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!!  
  
Po: *writhes, melts into a little puddle of red ooze* Nooooo......................!  
  
Other Teletubbies: No. Po! Po bye bye? Po? Po no bye bye?  
  
Duo: HA! It's more than bye bye! It's the big SAYONARA! I'm taking you all to HELL!  
  
Lala: *screeches* NOOO!  
  
Duo: HA! HELL! HELL, HELL, HELL!  
  
Other four boys: *give Duo a funny look*  
  
Duo: What? Help me!  
  
Quatre: Damn. Teletubbies...  
  
Lala: *peels away layer by layer till she's nothing but a pile of curly fries* Noooo...!  
  
Trowa & Wufei: *Exchange glances*  
  
Dipsy: No bye bye...!  
  
Heero: *Snorts*  
  
Duo: C'mon, Heero, give it a shot!  
  
Heero: Shit.  
  
Dipsy: *melts into a drippy goo, smears across nice, green hill* noooooooo...  
  
Duo: This is getting disgusting  
  
TinkyWinky: *Grows to an enormous size, blazing purple* TinkyWinky No Go Bye Bye!  
  
Duo: Oh no, he's learned defiance!  
  
TinkyWinky: *Turns to Trowa and Wufei* You Teletubbie friends? *Points to Duo, Heero and Quatre* They not Teletubbie friends.  
  
Trowa & Wufei: *Look at each other, then at TinkyWinky*  
  
-Silence-  
  
TinkyWinky: *impatient* You Teletubbie friends??  
  
Trowa & Wufei: *Monotone* Fuck you.  
  
TinkyWinky: ...Noooo...aaaaahhhh.... aaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!! *Explodes in a shower of purple goo*  
  
Duo: *shakes dripping purple goo off his arms* Gross!  
  
Quatre: I hope this comes out... *runs fingers through goo-covered hair*  
  
Heero: *holds up goo-dripping gun* ....  
  
Trowa: *wipes goo off his arms*  
  
Wufei: *looks at purple stained pants*  
  
Duo: Well, that was interesting...  
  
The five stand on the hill, waiting.  
  
Three minutes and 42 seconds pass.  
  
Quatre: So...What now?  
  
There was a deep rumbling noise in the distance. A very deep, rumbling noise. And it was quite loud, too.  
  
The sun, with the enormous baby's face in it, had apparently fallen out of the sky and was rolling towards the G-Boys at an incredible speed, setting anything it touched afire and squashing many rabbits.  
  
Duo: Oh shit, no!  
  
Quatre: RUN!  
  
Five G-Boys run for their lives.  
  
Duo: *slips on goo, lands flat on his back, gets squashed by the sun* OW!  
  
Moments of darkness pass.  
  
Duo: *cracks his eyes open, and sits up* I'm. ALIVE!  
  
Heero: Of course you're alive.  
  
Duo: *looks around, sees he's in bed, and it's morning* It must have been a dream. *Turns to look at Heero* AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
Heero - who is really TinkyWinky: FRIEND! *glomps Duo*  
  
Duo: *sits bolt upright, awake* What the hell...?  
  
Movement next to him.  
  
Duo: *draws his knees up, and circles his arms around his head* I'm going crazy! Heero, you won't believe the dream I just had, it reminds me of the one you had about. Heero? *Looks at the form sitting next to him in the bed*  
  
Quatre - Sitting next to Duo in bed: Ohayo *Stretches, yawns, gives Duo a little kiss, and gets out of bed, padding naked to the closet to find some clothes*  
  
Duo: *stares, mouth agape, whispers to himself* Wake up, Duo. wake up. wake up.  
  
Quatre: Duo, how does pancakes sound for breakfast?  
  
Duo: Ahh. fine... *thinks* Ah, did Deathscythe get its repairs done?  
  
Quatre: Deathscythe? What are you talking about?  
  
Duo: You know, my Gundam?  
  
Quatre: Gundam? Oh, Duo, you have such an imagination! I'll go get your breakfast. *Leaves*  
  
Duo: *boggles*  
  
A Teletubbie comes into the room, holding a tray with a stack of pancakes, shaped like a sun, designed with a baby in the center.  
  
Duo: *Screams*  
  
Teletubbie: Duo! DUO! Shut the hell up!  
  
Duo: *wakes up screaming*  
  
Heero: Duo, wake up; you're having a nightmare.  
  
Duo: What time is it?  
  
Heero: 3 am.  
  
Duo: Where's the Teletubbie servant?  
  
Heero: What?  
  
Duo: And where's Quatre? He was here a minute ago, and naked!  
  
Heero: *looks at Duo*  
  
Duo: Am I finally awake for real now? *Pinches himself*  
  
Heero: *snorts, goes back to his computer*  
  
Duo: *settles back into bed* That's the last time I stay up till 1am watching the BBC. 


End file.
